July 27, 2015

Today I recounted the breaking point to an inquiring new and dear friend. Talking about it is easy now, but when I get into it I begin to feel the weight of what had past come to my throat. It’s nice to hear them say and acknowledge the heart break and pain. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was painful.

Yesterday I was post wedding recovery and brunch/bloody marys with the Nash’s downtown. We talked about Hawaii for Christmas. C’est possible! I removed Australia from my itinerary for the fall. I’m going to focus on just Asia. I feel like I want a fuller / singular experience there. I cannot wait.

I’ve been casually dating thanks to dating apps. I’m not going for a record but I have had 4 dates in one week and two in one night. haha.. It’s been fun and boring and interesting and sweet. It’s weird to have the mindset of “unintentional” dating. Basically I just need to not care about the person I’m seeing. Why do I get attached so easily?

I climbed a tree with a british boy. We rendezvous’d to soak up the evening sun and drink beers on the edge of Lake Merritt. We both rode our bikes there. We talked of Seville and London and the light in Scotland. He’s a little shy and stutters out of nervousness a little when about to speak. He’s only been here a few months. Oakland is new to us both.

Two months here now. I’m headed out to Texas/Florida/New York next week for 10 days. Work and fun. I am grateful for this life.

Quotes collected recently

“She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look like nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”

“Honor the space between no longer and not yet.”

“He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing.”